Gosh, its almost time I thought about..

Marriage!!!

Ok, let’s start with a disclaimer. If you’re not of Indian origin (elephants & curries as Americans conceive us and not the Navajo Indian types), you won’t understand my ramblings even if you’re Yoda himself.

I'm gonna be 26 this month. All of a sudden, most of my friends are either engaged, married or looking to get married. I however wonder if single Indian guys are nowadays excited about getting married or do they conceive it as an unavoidable part of life that steals their freedom? By the way, you know what’s funny? I just saw an episode of ‘sex and the city’ and I can’t help but equate myself to Carrie, typing away columns about my life. Hmm, it is a bit gay but hey, this is the blogging era and I’m sure Mr. Keyes would agree ;) (word! word! Google for “Keyes, daughter, blog” if u don’t get it).

Given that I know more guys than girls, I see three kinds of guys when it comes to marriage. First kind; Guys who know their parents would find them a girl and they don’t have to move their asses. They know marriage is inevitable and they would be under serious pressure from their parents if they refused to marry before they become 29. They just succumb to it. Some of them would even agree to marriage after exchanging several phone calls. Second kind; Guys who are concerned to a certain extent about finding the right life partner and they hope to find a simple, honest partner with reasonable looks. This kind will put in some effort only to avoid marrying a totally incompatible girl. They know that if they fail, their parents will find someone anyway but they’d be happy that they at least tried. Third Kind, the minority; Guys who are actually excited (not worried) about marriage and try to know the girl that they might end up marrying. Of course, this does not include sleeping with her because we keep our jacks in the box until after marriage. These are guys who look forward to seeing the world anew with two more eyes and a totally different perspective. My kind.

To be honest, as much as I’m excited about marriage, I have to admit that my excitement is my fear. I fear that I may not end up finding the right person and that I’ll bow down to the undeniable “learn to love” ideology. The reason is, my mom’s already talking to me about marriage and she wants to start looking for a partner, for me. Her criteria for a good match would be a well educated, outgoing, well mannered girl with good looks (even average looks won’t suffice) who is talented in some form of art, be it singing, dancing or whatever else. I, on the other hand am more concerned about marrying someone who’ll relate to my way of life. I’m not saying I need someone who’ll party wild with me on Friday nights and watch football the whole of Sunday afternoon. But I expect her to know and adjust to the fact that a Cubs playoffs game would be more important to me than meeting with her distant cousin from the middle of nowhere. It’s just a matter of sharing the same wavelength, if you know what I mean.

I predict that just like my brother, my profile will be up on http://www.tamilmatrimony.com/ where if you searched for south Indian guys between 25 and 30 residing in the United States, you’d see countless profiles. Am I gonna be the candidate # 128509? Sure, my brother’s profile was on the same site and he married a wonderful person but his credentials are unbelievable. I’m sure my sister-in-law’s parents wouldn’t have touched base with my family if not for my brother’s impressive profile. My parents wouldn’t have followed it up either if not for my sister-in-law’s equally good profile. The matter of fact is, I want someone to marry me for who I am and not for my profile which would say I’m a 26 year old South Indian male with a Masters degree working in the US for a software company. Jeez, you can’t generalize me any more than that. Sure, I can list my hobbies and write a few lines about myself but that’s it. I’m sure that’s how my parents would start my bride hunting process. One good thing is, they have clearly expressed that even if I wanted to marry a mule, they’d be glad to support my decision. I’m totally lucky that they know that it’s my happiness that matters and they would stand by my choice.

So, will I find my wife to be my best friend, my confidante? Am I gonna be successful in finding the “One”? How much time do I have before my parents chew my brains out to get married? Will I have achieved my career based goals over the next few years by that time? The one thing I know for sure is this. My wife will be a pretty happy camper unless I catch her with the milkman :] If I find someone fun loving, I’m sure she’ll have a blast. If she’s anti social and usually kept to herself, we’re both screwed without a doubt. All the guys who’re about my age in my family are looking forward to my getting married just so they can see if my married life is gonna be as exciting and fun filled as I claim or if I’m gonna drown in the yet-another-mundane-couple sea.

Time holds the key to my destiny. I only hope that I will be showing this blog to my wife several years from now on my laptop, lying next to her just observing that she’s cute when she wears her reading glasses. Today would have become “one of those days when I was scared of marriage”. Maybe at this point, she’d stop to kiss me in the forehead and maybe joke “sorry I did the milkman” ;). Maybe she’d chide me affectionately for using abusive language and remind me to behave myself.