Thank you for gyrating.

Wow. I tickled your curiosity, didn't I? Let's get started :)

Clubbing: An activity which involves young men and women gyrating at a dance club to the music played by a DJ with a fancy name which you'd forget before you walk back to your car. :) You know what I'm talking about. At least thus far. About where I'm getting at, here is a disclaimer. The intended audience of this blog is young males (25-35) who go clubbing, hoping to get some attention from the opposite sex. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not trying to play the pimp. However, I do hope to help some hapless souls who often waste time, money and energy just to get snubbed by women. So, let's get that dirt off your shoulder. Today.

A little bit of introduction about myself before you choose to take or leave my advice. If you showed my picture to let's say, 10 girls, I would guess that at least eight of them would say I'm unattractive. In other words, you can't write me off saying "he's probably hot and maybe he got lucky several times". This is not about me, at all. Its all about how you can get your *beep* together from my experience.

Anyhow, I've been clubbing for almost 3 years now and over the last 18 months, I've clubbed almost every weekend. I always have a good time, because I love to dance my butt off to the music I like, whether I get the attention or not. Some of my friends ridicule me because there is no guy who goes to dance clubs to just dance to the music. Its true, all I'm saying is that if you don't enjoy dancing to the music and the only thing you care about is getting lucky, you won't. Of course, there are exceptions. But the chances of you hooking up with someone every time is remote, if you carry that attitude.

Now, to the point. Always respect a woman's space. If you wanna dance with someone, don't rush into them and expect them to reciprocate. It doesn't work that way unless she's really drunk, in which case you'd be exploiting her instead of dancing with her. Try to stay in her vicinity, smile at her, make some eye contact. Get her used to your presence. Give her at least one song to figure out if she wants to dance with you; if she's not up for it, trust me, she'd be outta there before you know it. Sure, some girls do smile at you but when you walk upto them, they might not reciprocate. Yet, its all about taking chances and you're chances are much better if you approach her this way instead of trying an obsolete pick up line that'd take you nowhere.

A big hint for guys who stand in a corner, sipping your drink for ages before you finally muster the courage to step into the dance floor. Let go of it. That's the first, most obvious sign to women that you can't dance, you don't really enjoy the music and that you're scouting the crowd for the most vulnerable. Doesn't paint a good picture, does it? If you wanna grab a drink and take a break, go to the bar. Grab a seat somewhere and chill out. Don't stare at women while they dance and hope to get into the act after several captain & cokes help you find your balls.

Now, onto guys who think they've got it all. You see guys who're good looking, they can dance, sing along with every song and get anybody's attention. But this is what I've observed. Most of them are scared of failure. If you think you're "hotter" than most guys out there and you can't afford to be denied, you're better off playing poker with your mama in your basement. No guts, no glory. Think about it. Would you rather take a shot at having a great time dancing with someone or would you wait all night to be asked by some woman in the midst of her mid life crisis? The whole point of going to a dance club is to get lost in a different world, indulge in the music and let go of yourself. That is what they call "having a blast". If you can't get over your self conceit, close this window and move on.

Confidence. This is a huge, huge factor. You gotta remember this, nobody's perfect. I'm sure there'd have been a lot of situations where you'd have seen hot girls dancing with rather unattractive guys. Sure, you'd have told yourself that he's gotta be rich or he can dance or he's probably gay. Most of the times, you'd have been wrong. A little bit of confidence can take you a long way. When you walk upto someone, keep a smiling face and sound confident. If you're all nervous and you barely mumble 'hey, how about a dance?', she'll probably walk away the next second. Remember, the practice of asking someone for a dance is age old. That ain't cool anymore. Try to come up with something humorous or say anything that'll grab her attention and you're on. It may not take you anywhere, but she'd at least reciprocate to you and it might lead to things as opposed to her turning her back to you.

By the way, here's a bunch of things you could be doing, that would fall under "despicable behavior". In other words, "you should get your behind kicked for doing it" behavior.

If you approach a girl from behind, when she's really not aware of your presence and if you hang in there forever waiting for her to grind you, that's gross. Even if she does grind you, you're just a piece of meat and that's stooping to the lowest level, in my opinion.

If you approach a girl and if you hang around even after she clearly says she's not interested, you bring new meaning to the words "desparate loser". Get a life.

If you ask a girl if you can buy her a drink and if you expect her to make out with you because you spent money on her, you're just stupid. You should probably beat yourself with a shoe if you've done that.

If you're dancing with someone, you get physical, all of a sudden she leaves you and you get emotionally affected because of it, you're retarded. This is the last place where you expect people to be sane. So, do what you do and have a good time.

In conclusion, don't try to be someone you're not. Just go out there, do what you do and be cool. Learn to respect women; just because they drink, dance wild and cut loose at times doesn't mean they're slutty and they should accommodate any guy who wants to get wild with them. Girls have fun dancing with what, maybe a handful of the guys the whole night but they get badgered by at least dozens of desperate guys, some of whom can be rather obnoxious. So, give them space, give them respect, show some confidence and find your balls. Before you know it, you'd be waking up with stories to tell.