Crazy. I almost feed off of this word for a living :)) In my six odd years of this American life, I’ve had a good dose of it and I’m gonna dump some of it on you, the reader :). Some personal experiences, true stories from reliable sources of information ;), some that are possibly rumors and some that are beyond crazy. Nonetheless, I’m sure you’ll enjoy most of them!
Fiasco #1 (of course, since its my personal fiasco, it gets more attention than the rest :))
As you would expect, I’m starting off with a personal fiasco which has etched itself into my crazy catalogue for eternity ;). Almost 18 odd months ago, one fine Friday night, I and my friend P decided to go clubbing. I hadn’t had a good lunch but the craving for partying took over my hunger. As we all know, empty stomach + alcohol + too much dancing = disaster! :) So, we hit the Lion’s head pub (www.lionheadpub.net) where there is no cover, ever :) and we cut loose. We danced like there was no tomorrow, with anybody and everybody and I hit the point where the blood percentage in my alcohol was rather low :)). I started dancing with this Mexican girl who had this huge handbag, if you will, and I had this sudden urge to dump empty beer bottles into her bag, simply because it fit like a dream in it! Not to mention that I liked the sound (*clanging*) of the beer bottle inside her bag. So, I start filling her bag with beer bottles (we danced for an hour and I threw in around 4 bottles) and at some point, she realized the weight, checked her bag and freaked out ;) She actually said something in the lines of “wow, guess that’s why I’m so drunk already” :)))) so, it wasn’t too bad and she didn’t call the cops. =))))
We finally left the place, went to Dominos Pizza where I passed out, sitting on the chair =) (yes, I’m cutting on some details here ;) and P managed to carry me out to the car somehow. I had no idea what was going on, at that point! (and to think I did my Masters!). So, he drove by Walgreen’s and the clerk warned him that I might be poisoned with alcohol. He panicked and drove me to a hospital; Four people picked me up, carried me like it was my last journey and dumped me in a bed where I happily crashed for around 4 hours. I slowly came to my senses around 4am, looked around and I saw all white around me. The sheets were white, the beds were all white, I saw a nurse obviously in white and I thought it was the light at the end of the tunnel :))) I panicked and blabbered something aloud, the nurse came by and said “honey, do you wanna take off your clothes? We’d like to have you admitted”. That was it =))) I jumped off the bed and said “noooo! I will not undress. What do you want from me?”, like it was B-grade movie pre-rape scene =)) P was quickly summoned and then it all came to me!! I collected myself for few brief seconds, told him that I was ok, ran out of there in utter shock, dismay and embarrassment and woke up the next day only to get the ultimate consolation from one of my best friends. Apparently, his friend had gotten wasted the week before, walked out of the bar and while he was crossing the road, he kinda passed out in the median (which had bushes) and woke up the next day to the sound of traffic zipping by on both sides! Fabulous =))) One thing that I should mention is, P, I’m indebted to you for saving my ass that day. I owe you one, dogg!
Fiasco #2
J, one of my good friends, who thinks getting wasted is a civic duty, pulled off this uber cool fiasco at the Underground Wonderbar (www.undergroundwonderbar.com). As the name suggests, it’s an underground bar owned by their lead performer, Lonie Walker. Now this lady is a legend and very popular in Chicago and she was performing this one night, maybe around year ago. I wasn’t there but a bunch of my close friends along with J had gone to see her perform and little did they know what fate had in store for them =))) Before we proceed, J’s most fav rhyme is “go shortty…issh ur birthday”. The way he rhymes it, by itself, is something that’ll crack u up, for sure. Anyway, the bar is a tiny one and you have to walk past the band to get to the restroom. J gets a few beers in his system, his bladder rings the bell and while walking to the restroom (through the band), he decides to show his respect for Lonie Walker’s brilliant performance. So, he starts rhyming his “go shorty” verse (why “go shorty”, noone knows :)))) and he swings his arm above his head like how an audience would jive to a rap song (you can visualize the 8 mile trailer where you see hands in the air, oscillating up and down with the beat) and he walks way too close to Lonie, so close that he accidentally hit her mic with his hand and the mic jams into Lonie’s face :))))))))))))) Unimaginable. Before the gang could react to what J did, the bouncers grabbed him, made him sit and said something in the lines of “if you as much as move, we’ll kill you” :) Somehow my friends managed to apologize and they weren’t kicked out, but believe you me, this is the funniest s*@# that I’ve heard happen to anyone, anywhere!!. Dammnn I so wish I had gone there with them that night ;)
More fiascos to follow :))
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